Openers
Name: Nurul Ain Bte Muzlan
Student ID: 10064266K
Tutorial Group: T1B2
1)Jonathan creeps towards the unshut door, trying his very best to keep silent. He holds his breath, thinking that something is amiss.
2)David draws in his breath with a long hiss, clenching his fist tightly that his veins are potruding through his skin. His eyes glare like huge fireballs.
3)Margaret’s heart skips a beat upon hearing the appalling news. She stands still with her mouth wide agape.
4)Jessie whips out her cell phone immediately, her jittery fingers running on the keypads. There is not a single second to waste.
5)Renee staggers into the room and plops down onto the sofa. Blood is gushing out of the gaping wound on her belly like a broken pipe. She clutches her stomach, groaning and grimacing in pain.
6)Amir burries his face in his hand, feeling embarrassed. Jeerings from the crowd fill the then tense atmosphere. His face turns to the colour of molten lava.
7)Jacintha bends her body closer and peeps inside the box, trying to make out its contains. She reached out her hand and scratched her forehead as she has no inkling of what they are.
8 ) Aliff hids at the corner of the street, watching the man’s every single move closely. He draws his pistol from the back pocket and sets his index finger at the trigger.
9) Amerie slows down her pace and finally stops. She glances to her back when she hears her name being called again, but hardly sees a soul on the street. “Hello…anyone there?”she asks. But all she hears is her own echo.
10)Gina paces up and down restlessly at the corridor like a cat on hot bricks. Beads of perspiration trickle down her forehead. What should she do? What if her parents finds out the truth? Can she remain calm and face it? How will her parents react? A plethora of questions swarm her mind.
11)Jamie ransacks through the old, dull-coloured wooden cupboard, desperate to find the bottle of medicine. She grabs every clothes she sees and chucks it onto the floor. Her father is already lying on the floor, clutching his chest and gasping for air. His face is as white as sheet.
12)Dhea leaps onto the chair, letting out a ear-piercing scream. Her bony index finger points to the brown lizard scootering under her chair.
Most of your openers are similar in tone. You could write them with a greater sense of urgency and with more exciting actions. For e.g. No. 12 could have be written, “Dhea leaps from her chair, reaches out to grab Tony by his throat…”
Remember, the openers are meant to hook the readers to make them want to continue reading.
Please use ‘cellular’ instead of ‘cell’ phone for no. 4.